Sextortion: what Australian parents need to know

Sextortion is one of the most distressing situations a family can face, and it is more common than most parents know. This guide explains what it is, how it happens, the warning signs, and — most importantly — what to do if your child comes to you about it. The tone here is deliberately calm and practical, because panic is the main thing that makes the situation worse.

What sextortion is

Sextortion occurs when someone uses an intimate image — or the threat of one — to coerce a young person into providing money, more images, or contact. The image may have been shared willingly in what felt like a trusting relationship, obtained through deception, or manufactured. The person making the demand uses the threat of sharing the image (with family, friends, school) as leverage.

Sextortion is a crime in Australia under both state and Commonwealth law. Committing it against a minor carries serious criminal penalties for the perpetrator.

How it typically happens

There are two main patterns:

• Relationship-based sextortion. An adult poses as a peer or romantic interest, builds trust over time (see our guide on online grooming), and eventually persuades the young person to share an intimate image. The image then becomes leverage.
• Financial sextortion. A scammer — often operating from overseas — targets a young person, usually a teenage boy, sometimes using a fake profile. The aim is money. These approaches can be rapid and do not require an extended relationship first.

Both patterns occur across social media, gaming platforms, and messaging apps. Australia's under-16 social media ban reduces access to some platforms, but the many apps not covered by the ban remain common environments for this kind of contact.

Warning signs

Sextortion victims are often too frightened and ashamed to ask for help. The fear of having images shared — or of being judged — can be so overwhelming that young people attempt to manage the situation alone, including paying demands. Warning signs include:

• Sudden, intense distress or anxiety that seems connected to device use.
• Secrecy or panic around their phone or device.
• Requests for money — especially urgent ones — without a clear explanation.
• Withdrawal from friends, family or usual activities.
• Reluctance to go to school or social situations.

If you notice these signs, approach your child with care — they are likely already frightened. The first thing they need to hear is that they are safe to tell you.

What to do if your child tells you

The most important thing you can do in this moment is stay calm and make your child feel safe.

• Reassure them they are not in trouble and that what has happened is not their fault. This matters enormously — shame is what keeps young people from asking for help sooner.
• Do not pay any demands. Payment does not end the situation — it confirms you will pay, which typically leads to further demands.
• Preserve evidence. Take screenshots of the messages and any accounts involved before blocking or reporting.
• Block the account on whatever platform the contact occurred.
• Report to the ACCCE at accce.gov.au/report. The ACCCE is Australia's national body for reporting online child exploitation and works with the AFP.
• Contact eSafety at eSafety.gov.au. eSafety has formal powers to require platforms to remove intimate images of minors and can assist with the process.
• If your child is in immediate danger, call 000.

Getting support for your child

Your child may need to talk to someone who is not their parent. Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 is free, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and completely confidential. Children can call, webchat or email. They do not need to involve a parent.

You, as a parent, may also find it helpful to speak to someone. Kids Helpline also supports parents and carers.

Talking to your child before it happens

The most effective protection is a child who knows they can come to you. Our guide on how to talk to your child about online safety covers how to have that conversation at each age group, including how to introduce this topic for children aged 13 and over without being alarmist.

The key message to give your child in advance is simple: "If anyone ever uses a photo to try to make you do something, tell me immediately. You will not be in trouble, and we will deal with it together."