Online grooming warning signs: a guide for Australian parents

Online grooming is one of the more difficult topics for parents to approach — it is serious, it is more common than most people realise, and it requires talking to children about something deeply uncomfortable. This guide is written to be calm and factual: what grooming is, how it typically works, what warning signs to watch for, and what to do if you are concerned.

What online grooming is

Online grooming is a process in which an adult builds a relationship of trust with a child over time, using that trust to pursue exploitation — most commonly obtaining intimate images or arranging physical contact. It is not typically a sudden approach; it is a gradual process that can unfold over weeks or months.

The adult may pose as a peer, a mentor, an older friend, or a romantic interest. They often target children who appear isolated, seeking validation, or engaged in online communities. The process typically involves building rapport, encouraging secrecy, introducing the child to more personal or sexual topics incrementally, and then making requests.

Where it happens

Grooming occurs wherever children and unknown adults can communicate. The most common platforms include gaming environments (voice and text chat), direct messaging apps, and social media. Notably, Australia's under-16 social media ban covers ten platforms — but it does not cover gaming or messaging apps, which are among the most frequent environments for this kind of contact. See our guide on what the ban doesn't cover for more detail.

Warning signs to watch for

No single sign below is conclusive. Children naturally become more private as they get older. What matters is a pattern — particularly a change from their usual behaviour.

• Secrecy about a specific online contact. A new "friend" they are reluctant to talk about, or whose name they avoid mentioning.
• Receiving gifts, money, or in-game items from someone they have not met in person and cannot clearly account for.
• Device use at unusual times — late at night, early in the morning, or in private spaces where they would not normally use a device.
• Switching screens or closing apps when a parent approaches.
• Emotional withdrawal or distress after being online. Mood changes — particularly anxiety, withdrawal or upset — that seem connected to device use.
• Talking about a new older friend who seems unusually interested in them.
• References to conversations, places or plans that you cannot account for and that they become evasive about.

How to respond if you are concerned

The most important first step is to keep communication open. If your child feels they will be in trouble, they are less likely to tell you what is happening. If you have concerns:

• Talk to your child calmly, without accusation. "I've noticed you seem a bit distracted lately — is everything okay online?" is a more useful opening than one that feels like an interrogation.
• Ask to see the conversation if they are willing. Do not demand it as the first move.
• Reassure them they are not in trouble and that you will help them, whatever has happened.

Reporting and getting help

If you believe grooming is occurring or has occurred, report it to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation (ACCCE) at accce.gov.au/report. The ACCCE is the national body for reporting online child exploitation in Australia.

You can also contact eSafety at eSafety.gov.au for guidance on content removal and platform reporting.

If your child is in immediate danger, call 000.

Children can also access support directly through Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (free, 24/7). They can call, webchat or email, and they do not need to involve a parent first.

What you can do proactively

• Have the conversation before it becomes urgent. Our guide on how to talk to your child about online safety walks through this at each age group.
• Know which apps and games your child is using. The platforms exempt from the ban — gaming, messaging, AI companion apps — are where unknown adult contact is most likely.
• Make reporting feel safe. Explicitly tell your child that if anyone online ever makes them feel uncomfortable, they should tell you, and they will not be in trouble.
• Know the resources. ACCCE at accce.gov.au/report, eSafety at eSafety.gov.au, and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 are the main ones.

Related guides

For a related concern that often follows from grooming contact, see our guide on sextortion for Australian parents. For broader context on digital risks, see Australia's social media ban explained and what the ban doesn't cover.